April.l9.2Ol5
The
minutes move slowly today / in a day in which the sun / is nothing more than a
brighter blemish of gray in the sky. / The minutes move forward looking back, obsessed with
the past, / bitten by memories, fat ticks, sucking the blood that should feed
the future. / Then, the minutes go strugling frenetically in circles, / like dogs pursuing
their own tails, / unconscious of each other, / crashing against each other like
all galaxies even eventually do.
Things
go slowly like in the spring. / Slowly, I leave my cave, isolation, my fears behind.
/ Fall is easy. / Gravity, laziness and depression do all the work. / Spring is
hard, to rise is hard, one has to actually do it / as life is harder than death. / Deasth is nothingness. / No glory, however, no suffering either. / But Life one has to actually live / and love. / Regardless of that, / nobody wants to die, / nobody wants do die. / Therefore, we work so we
can sing.
Last
night, / I had a dream. / Some teacher wanted to teach us something about improving
our personalities. / All I could think about / was that I had lost my iPhone. /
Maybe I had left it at the Giant by my house. / Better saying, / someone else’s
house / in which I live / but not love. / I could not remember where I left my
phone. / By the time the class ended / it had become an art event / in which
nothing had been taught or learned / and people only went about aimlesssly / dancing,
singing or just being disappointed. / A man dressed in a headless bear suit /
tried to protest / but having a clown mask on did not help his case. / What he
was saying was right, / but people felt that doing something at that point would be unfashionable /
mainly when a clown faced man in a headless bear suit was asking us to do it.
Just
glad that the event was over, / I went on looking for my iPhone. / From the
hall where the event was happening, / a big old hangar, / even though renovated, / [Or maybe, it was an later car depot.] / quickly I reached the country side / where
bushes and low trees were taking over the footpaths. / It was the kind of place
where bears hunt men. / I saw some houses that seemed to belong to well-paid
college professors. / Unable to find my phone, / I pursued white dogs dressed
as soldiers. / They were fighting the American revolution / in an old cartoon.
I
went back to the hangar, / and remembered that I could have left my iPhone in
the pocket of the coat that I had been wearing throughout the winter.
By
the way, I don’t have an iPhone. / And, I don’t want / to have an iPhone. /
And, by the way, / I give much more importance to my journal / than I give to
my phone. / My journal does not have an automatic back up. / I bought my
journal for a cheaper price / because it is green. / Black and brown journals
are more expensive. / It seems that indeed happiness is cheaper than
seriousness or sadness. / But somewhat, seldom we choose to be happy. / We are
just like the dogs obsessed with the ticks in our tails. / In the attempt of
killing them / biting off pieces of our own skin and flesh, / aware of the other
dogs only when they crash into us / but not as much when we crash into them.
Bird
sings at my window. / This Sunday comes with promises of happiness / regardless
of the gray skies. / Gray is also a color. / If i can see a color, / i am not blind. / I see it as a good thing, / and i'll celebrate it / for this gray is my Graal.