April.l9.2Ol5

April.l9.2Ol5

The minutes move slowly today / in a day in which the sun / is nothing more than a brighter blemish of gray in the sky. / The minutes move forward looking back, obsessed with the past, / bitten by memories, fat ticks, sucking the blood that should feed the future. / Then, the minutes go strugling frenetically in circles, / like dogs pursuing their own tails, / unconscious of each other, / crashing against each other like all galaxies even eventually do.

Things go slowly like in the spring. / Slowly, I leave my cave, isolation, my fears behind. / Fall is easy. / Gravity, laziness and depression do all the work. / Spring is hard, to rise is hard, one has to actually do it / as life is harder than death. / Deasth is nothingness. / No glory, however, no suffering either. / But Life one has to actually live / and love. / Regardless of that, / nobody wants to die, /  nobody wants do die. / Therefore, we work so we can sing.

Last night, / I had a dream. / Some teacher wanted to teach us something about improving our personalities. / All I could think about / was that I had lost my iPhone. / Maybe I had left it at the Giant by my house. / Better saying, / someone else’s house / in which I live / but not love. / I could not remember where I left my phone. / By the time the class ended / it had become an art event / in which nothing had been taught or learned / and people only went about aimlesssly / dancing, singing or just being disappointed. / A man dressed in a headless bear suit / tried to protest / but having a clown mask on did not help his case. / What he was saying was right, / but people felt that doing something at that point would be unfashionable / mainly when a clown faced man in a headless bear suit was asking us to do it.

Just glad that the event was over, / I went on looking for my iPhone. / From the hall where the event was happening, / a big old hangar, / even though renovated, / [Or maybe, it was an later car depot.] / quickly I reached the country side / where bushes and low trees were taking over the footpaths. / It was the kind of place where bears hunt men. / I saw some houses that seemed to belong to well-paid college professors. / Unable to find my phone, / I pursued white dogs dressed as soldiers. / They were fighting the American revolution / in an old cartoon.

I went back to the hangar, / and remembered that I could have left my iPhone in the pocket of the coat that I had been wearing throughout the winter.

By the way, I don’t have an iPhone. / And, I don’t want / to have an iPhone. / And, by the way, / I give much more importance to my journal / than I give to my phone. / My journal does not have an automatic back up. / I bought my journal for a cheaper price / because it is green. / Black and brown journals are more expensive. / It seems that indeed happiness is cheaper than seriousness or sadness. / But somewhat, seldom we choose to be happy. / We are just like the dogs obsessed with the ticks in our tails. / In the attempt of killing them / biting off pieces of our own skin and flesh, / aware of the other dogs only when they crash into us / but not as much when we crash into them.

Bird sings at my window. / This Sunday comes with promises of happiness / regardless of the gray skies. / Gray is also a color. / If i can see a color, / i am not blind. / I see it as a good thing, / and i'll celebrate it / for this gray is my Graal.

All Rivers are born in the Ocean

Sunday – March 22 2Ol5

The big ECLIPSE has passed

but nothing big has happened

as desired

as expected,

or as feared.

Only, my cell phone broke

that is all.

It still works normally.

Just the glass cracked.

I guess that would be big

for someone else,

but it isn’t for me.

Rarely, anyone ever calls me.

Maybe strangers, once a while,

requesting money or blood.

Caller ID,

its best feature,

drives me to avoid

all calls.

The phone fell at the

WalMart

parking lot

while i mostly fixed my car’s

stop lights.

Later on, in another parking lot,

I was among other few

people wishfully

fixing their cars,

regardless of

AutoZone

having posted a sign

prohibiting the action.

A black man asked me

for a couple of simple favors.

For a minute or two,

it made me feel alive

the fact that I was

willing to oblige.

...I don’t remember if

I slept home that night...

Now, thinking of it,

it makes me remember,

I don’t know why,

that once i was at a town

in the mountains of Maryland

with a good friend.

We had just come back from Spruce Knob

and needed a place to sleep.

The same family seemed

to own all hotels in that town.

I saw poor people sitting at

McDonald’s

just to use the internet.

They paid for their presence

by buying cheap soda,
taking it as medicine to

numb onerous odds
with bad habit and
sugar.

Everybody knew their game,

nobody cared.

It is always like this

in games in which

everybody loses.

When everybody know well each other,

some level of chosen ignorance

helps a lot to preserve

order and peace.

When you live

in a town like that,

Internet

is a line of scape.

It is not like you can just

wake up one day

and walk off.

One, most of the times,

chose to not wake up.

Internet is always

cheaper than drugs,

even though, not

always safer,

most of time,

less fun.

Poverty, isolation,

lack of hope;

the perfect brewing conditions

that makes one

want to buy guns, burn crosses and hang others.

Take revenge on the innocent.

Let the guilty go free

because the guilty

is rich, stronger

and, mainly, better looking
than us.

A lamb is easier to kill than a lion. 
Kill the lamb, then,

At least, we get to kill something. 

The freshness of blood

may quench the thirst

of this fire.

At this point, 
any blood

will do

but better other’s than ours.

...Bring some butter...

I think of this while

a crow craws

welcoming

the first morning 
of the spring,

a blue sky,

and mice

walk cozily

in the warmth

of my ceiling.

The landlord knows

they are there.

But not knowing what do,

he pretends to do things,

but actually does nothing.

That sometimes

requires more skills

than actually

doing something.

The mice are thankful.

My girlfriend

is still asleep.

And the pills

that I don’t want her

to know I take

remain hidden.

She wakes

and walks by,

but don’t see

the last sentence

I wrote.

Monday – March 23 2Ol5

One of the best gifts

that one has ever given me

was she who gave me:

a box of plastic tooth picks.

I like them so much

that I often refuse

to throw some of them away.

I wash it with tenderness

and reuse it,

sometimes, more than once.

Once, I watched someone

say that teeth have to do with Saturn.

Therefore, if you treat your teeth well

Saturn will be pleased

and rain blessings upon you.

Maybe, that has something to do

with the pleasure I find on cleaning

my teeth with the toothpicks

that my beloved gave to me.

And, it is easier

than flossing.

I floss too, however.

However, only once a day

as the instructions I found

in a

Men’s Health

magazine.

No more, than that is needed,

said the instructions.

The bacteria that affect the teeth

take about 24 hours to grow.

Therefore, one needs flossing

only once a day.

I have a broken tooth.

It is repaired now.

For a long time,

it wasn’t.

But it is now.

That is the only

interesting thing

to has ever been 
broken in my body.

Interestingly, though,

a lot of things

that belong to me

have been breaking

lately.

That takes a toll

after a while.

Through breaking things,

little by little,

the breaking gets

to one’s spirit.

If you cut, one by one,

the tentacles of a squ-Id,

eventually, it

will bleed out of life

or the

will to live.

Tuesday – March.24.2Ol5

Unlike a shark’s mouth,

fishing nets

look comfy.

Indra/Hindrance.

Morning and night,

the grasp of two beasts,

fighting for my flesh,

my body, my meat.

This is the first time

in a long time

that anybody,

or anything,

for this matter,

fights for me.

I find myself stuck

between hooks and

teeth of beings

that aren’t even hungry,
but very greedy.

Greed is the standard

and default

in Nature.

Havoc by habit.

Hooks, teeth, bad

pillows, dull shaving

razors, junk food,

junk e-mails,

junk files,

just junk.

Masticated, regurgitated

by night and day.

Nights full of nightmares.

Days empty of dreams.

Friday – March.27.2Ol5

In the shade

of this garden,

full of beetles,

I choose insanity

to not go insane.

I let go of

the strength shirt

and embrace vulnerability.

I am naked,

naturally.

I am nature.

Kind like Whitman

but without the

pedophilia.

I don’t even like children.

They have

     too much hope

     too much time

     too much happiness

     too much to like about.

…banana, salt and orange juice…

The eightfold path

folding eight times

just like

the tempting

tentacles

of an octopus.

Dieneces said it well,

it is better

to fight

in the shade.

“Oh what joy

for every girl and boy

Knowing they’re happy

and they’re safe.”

Saturday – March.28.2Ol5

Once, I saw

how octopuses

are caught, on TV

- Somewhere street –

Empty vases

are thrown in

the sea.

Octopuses take them

for a refuge

just to get trapped.

It makes me think

of 2 Samuel 22:3

“God is my rock,

in whom I take refuge”.

A man

carried one

of them

out of the water

and hit

the creature

5O counted times

against a rock

to make it

soft for eating.

(Not the stone,

the octopus.)

It made me think

of 2 Samuel 22:3

“God is my rock,

in whom I take refuge”.

Is their an human obsession

with such creatures?

Tentacle pornography…

Giant squid sinking ships…

All I know is:
 I have already finished my

2O,OOO leagues under the sea.

Sunday – March.29.2Ol5

So much time

so many times

exploring options,

tempting tentacles,

like an oyster

in the search

of a pearl

finding that

the source of

all rivers

is in the

ocean…

Tuesday – March.3O.2Ol5

 

river, river, river

teach me what you know

how to not be thirsty

river

how to feed life

wherever you go

regardless

the gravity of

small things

not fighting

the bigger gravity,

being in the flow,

river.

Teach me how

to caress

all matters

into nothing

turning mountains

into valleys

Stones into

beaches

and if

you don’t

even reach

the ocean

river

it does not matter

because you

and the ocean

are the same matter

no matter how far

no matter the appearances

[ To be continued - Keep on checking } 

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